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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Find Your Place. Find Your Self


August 22, 2012

     It is hot in Los Angeles, and nowhere hotter than the San Fernando Valley.  My wall AC unit is loud and does little damage against the overwhelming heat.  I have curtained off the main room to keep the cool in as much as possible but the rest of the apartment remains an oven.  I scour my entire living space, grabbing all the little toys and chaff that have accumulated on the shelves over the years.  I have gone into all the main rooms and sorted things together; kitchen, office, tools, painting, film, clothes, crap…etc.  It’s looking pretty good as my deadline of the end of the month approaches.  There are so many boxes and still so many big unsold pieces of furniture.  It’s all coming together.  I take as much as I can until I have to come back to the cool room.  My time in Los Angeles is coming to an end.      It’ is quite exciting as I prepare to leave.  I have already quit my job and have only to finish out the month.  In that time, I found that it would be really nice to live here if you didn’t have to work.  I’m having the time to socialize and say ‘good-bye’ to good friends, to stay out late and wake up accordingly… hell, I had almost a dozen oysters today!  I suspect there are many cities that not having to work would be a load of fun, so I’m off to find them and learn what they have to offer.     As I said, I quit my job.  Now, considering the times, you may be saying, “what the fuck is wrong with you?!”.  And on paper, my job was pretty sweet.  If I sat here and described it to you, I would come off like a crazy person and cease to be relatable.  Especially when so many people in this country don’t have work and are struggling daily and supporting multiple people.  But misery is the effect of many causes.  And my job was the cause of my misery.  I made the decision to be smart or be happy.  So, like an idiot, I'm attempting to be happy.  Life is about living and living contains more than just boredom and stress.  This world is so vast and beautiful, it is a shame to see your years go by inside the same set of walls.  It is a shame to be surrounded by people in one of the largest and most sought after cities in the world and feel completely alone.  There is more to life than a job that allows you to afford to survive day after day.  So, right or wrong; smart or dumb; I have quit my job in this world obsessed with corporate takeovers and I am on the search for something more.       I feel like my time in Los Angeles has dulled my senses.  I feel that the way I used to think and observe has been stunted by this mundane environment and empty people.  Sure the responsibility is on all of us to work harder and push past adversities to truly become the best we can be.  I have spent too much time avoiding the lesson that Los Angeles is not the place for me to achieve that.  That time is over.  The lesson is clear.  I am on the move.

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